Primer: Customs

[GhostWolfe]

Source: SIFRP Campaign Guide

Hospitality is normally respected, even between enemies. When it is broken, it is universally regarded as a particularly base act—treachery of the highest order, and any lord with a reputation for honor would instantly lose it. Other lords might use it as a reason to break an alliance, and a serious breach of hospitality could certainly be grounds for war—or even for the king to intervene.

Both host and guest are bound not to use violence against each other and to fight together against any assaults against the host. Ideally, they will also be mutually courteous, but in tense situations, it is more important to overlook minor insults than to declare the rules of hospitality void.


Marriage in Westeros is a relationship between one man and one woman, who, if they are not Targaryens, should not be any more closely related than first cousins. It is a religious bond, most commonly solemnized by the Seven, and it requires the consent of both the man and the woman.

Although, particularly among the nobility, most marriages are arranged by the families, a particularly strong-minded young man or woman can always derail proceedings by simply refusing to consent. In principle, marriage lasts until one spouse dies, though high nobles can generally find some way to wriggle out of burdensome alliances. Even for them, however, it is a difficult procedure.

Women are expected to be virgins on their wedding night, and if the husband’s family is at all hostile, the bride had better be so. However, it is well known that horse riding can break a girl’s maidenhead, so few families are insistent on physical proof. Unweaned infants can be married if there are political circumstances making it urgent that the wedding goes ahead, but the nobility normally waits until a girl flowers.

While it isn’t unheard of for noble girls to get married around thirteen, it is much more common for them to be at least fifteen or sixteen. Noble maidens would, however, normally expect to be married by twenty.


The Lordships of Westeros are, for the most part, hereditary. In theory, men take priority over women, and older siblings over younger. Once you have started going down a branch of the family tree, you are supposed to go all the way down before looking for other heirs; thus, the great-grandson of the eldest son of the lord has a better claim than the lord’s second son, even if the great-grandson is a babe in arms with a mother from a rival house and the second son a mighty warrior. Those are, however, exactly the sorts of situations in which politics are likely to trump the theoretical rules.

In theory, then, it is all but impossible for a noble house to become extinct; enough poking around in dusty archives can turn up heirs for just about anyone. In practice, however, a distant relative is unlikely to inherit, particularly if the king has other plans for the lands or if the reputed heir is living like a commoner.


Hunting is a very popular pasttime. Falconry, in which trained birds of prey are loosed at small game, such as rabbits, is popular with women, as well as men, and is much less dangerous than hunting deer or boar.

Many other more solitary pastimes are also popular. Most nobles are literate, having learned from their maester, and some do enjoy reading. In most areas, however, a noble who likes his books overmuch is sometimes regarded with some suspicion. Cyvasse, a board game similar to chess, is also popular, and women and girls spend much of their time embroidering, singing, and playing music. It is very rare for nobles to be completely alone; servants and maids-in-waiting are usually present.